Why I became a volunteer / famine advocate

Let me start by telling you WHY NOT.

It's NOT because:

• I have more time than you (same like you, I have 24 hours)
• I need less sleep (8 hours is my standard)
• I don't have a job (or in your case, a demanding job. But do not ask me about my previous jobs because it's too complicated)
• I don't have loved ones that I spent time with (I will drag them all to the 30-hour famine whether they like it or not, that's how we spent time together)
• I don't have chores (I need to wash the toilet, laundry, bath the cat, kill the mosquitos, and other daughter, sister, daughter-in-law,  and wifely duties)
• I don't have any friends (I have, though I only have a handful of good friends. But but I have made so many friends after being a Famine Advocate/volunteer)
• I don't have children (Yes, I don't but we have 3 sponsored child, I wrote and send gifts to them every year and their sponsorship costs us RM65/mo x 3. My mom who is retired share the sponsorship too. Though I know RM65/month is probably how much you spent in Anmum and Nestum and I dunno what..)
• I have more money than you (I don't, you are richer, wanna compare bank account and salary slip?)
• I have a rich mom, husband, secret lovers, granny left a lot of $$ for me (Well, let just say that we are in the medium income family and my granny left me a Singer brand sewing machine)
• I don't have liability (I have a car, a house, a brother, a few unidentified samans, car repairs, I need to drink Starbucks and buy Vincci shoes, sometimes Gucci, etc etc)
• I don't have stress (I do, and I am the most bipolar person that you know. Do not try to pull my plug ok?)
• I strike the lottery? (I wish so!)

So why the heck that I can find time to volunteer? Maybe it's passion and making the effort? :) Or maybe life is short and if I am not going to do it now, when the heck am I going to do it? Definately not going to wait till when my legs are wobbly, my face is wrinkly, and bladder is losey and I am cranky)

Going through my miscarriage

I was 2 months pregnant when I learnt about my first miscarriage. That was in September 2012, just last year. I have been waiting for more than 2 years for this pregnancy to happen. I still remember that day like replaying a video tape. I was supposed to meet my gynae, Dr. Eric Tham for a scheduled checkup in the morning. Like it was a joke on me, not only that Dr. Eric was not around but so were the 3 other gynaes in my neighborhood. ( I found out later that all of them were attending the same seminar. fml...)

So I thought that I should just wait for the next day. That same afternoon, I went crazy when I saw spots of blood on my underwear. I whatapp-ed my friend, Angel in panic. Luckily, she found a gynae on duty in Tropicana medical center and even made an appointment for me (wouldn't know what I will do without her, thanks Angel!). So me and hubby rushed to Tropicana.

As we were waiting anxiously for our turn, hubby reminded us that we have to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. After what seems to be the longest wait in my life, we finally saw the gynae.

I could feel my heart wanting to pop out when the lady gynae was scanning my womb. I was looking at the ultrasound screen and praying that my baby would be fine. When she scanned it a few times with a wrinkled brow, I knew that my hope was smashed to smithereens.

The doctor confirmed that I had a miscarriage. She showed me that the embryo in my sac had stopped developing and it had even shriveled. Tears were starting to well up in eyes that I could hardly see anymore. In my anguish, the doctor started to explain the options and D&C, a term which was completely alien to me. It's a basically a surgical procedure to remove the life that was once in me.

As I came out from the doctor room, I was still crying and even harder when I see the big and round bellies of the expecting moms around me.

Somehow, I thought that no matter how hard I cry or how sad I am, it will never change this fact. With this realization, I decided to pull myself up from this grief.

That night, I went ahead with my planned karaoke session with Chia Li and Shirley and sung, or more like screamed my heart out. I felt a lot better and even enjoyed myself.

I think that I am the one in the million who can still have a karaoke session right after knowing a miscarriage. It is either I was plain crazy or just had exceptional tolerance of lost. Lol..

Come to think of it, it is not that I have lost a limb or a liver. Yes, I have lost a baby but if it's not meant to be, there is nothing that I could do except to choose whether to be positive or sad during this ordeal.

As my D&C was scheduled on the following week Tuesday, I didn't know how I live through that weekend. Can you imagine having a dead baby in you and trying to forget about it at the same time? Somehow, I went to a birthday celebration and keeping quiet as I didn't want to spoil the party. I won't say that I didn't feel miserable at all but I also didn't want to dwell on the sadness.

When one door of  happiness closes, another will open right? So with this mentality, I decided to reward myself to my dream trip to Europe, a dream that I have set since more than a decade ago. Hubby and I went to Europe for 2 weeks. We had the best time of our life and even celebrated 2013 new year countdown under the Eiffel Tower.

But even more meaningful than my long time dream was being selected as a famine advocate by World Vision. It was only about two months after my miscarriage when I applied for this role.
As a famine advocate, I was given the opportunity to visit one of the World Vision community development program in India. There, I've met a lot of people who have inspired me to advocate for the poors. More importantly, I've met children suffering from hunger and sickness and knowing that WE can help them LIVE by just sharing some of our blessings.

Having gone through a miscarriage,  I appreciate life and children even more now.
Perhaps this is why I feel so deeply about the less fortunate children. My heart melts when I see their smiles and cries when I see malnourished or sickly children.

It is so true when people say that if we have never suffered ourselves, we might not be able to identify and sympathize with the suffering of others.

Well, to all the ladies who are trying very hard to conceive, do not be defeated even when you meet with failure, like me. I sincerely hope that my sharing can help you to deal with your miscarriage in a positive way.
When life gives you lemon, make a lemon juice and don't forget to help the needy ones! Try again and good luck to us!

"Suffer what is there to suffer and enjoy what is there to enjoy." - Nichiren Daisonin.

Me and the panda

When I was a child, I remember seeing a big panda donation box for WWF in the supermarket that I used to go.  When I was taking my PMR, I was so desperate to score that I made a secret wish to donate RM100 to the panda if I could get a full distinction. My daily pocket money was RM1.50 during that time. I have even thought of a strategy to do this, which is donating small amount of money everytime I go till it hit my targeted amount.

And surprisingly, I did get straight A’s!!!!! and I wasn’t even a very bright student. Power of the panda??!! I started to drop in 50 cents to the panda box whenever I go to the supermarket. Then sometimes, after pacing back and forth in front of the panda, and requiring a lot of courage, I would drop in RM2 while gasping for air. Due to my kiamsiap-ness, I have stopped donating after a year and I think my donation didn’t reach RM30. Sorry panda, I was 16. 

That was my first experience in donating money to the charity. Fast forward many years later, I still do donate money as I feel that with all the blessings that I have, I should contribute back to the society even I could only afford peanut money. I became a child sponsor. As my kiamsiap-ness has not changed a lot since I was 16, sometimes I still pull a handbrake or I would replace donation with volunteering.

As I have now seen children who are sick, weak and are tormented by poverty, I’ve vowed to continue donating as long as I have a roof on my head and food on my table.

And if I have functional hands and legs, I would volunteer to help the less unfortunate ones who are crippled by poverty.

If you are reading this, I would really urge that you could take action to help others.  You do not have to donate your kidney or your 1 month salary to the charity of your choice. If you could just donate even USD1, that would be enough for the meal of a child who have not eaten for 3 days. YOU, can make a difference to people and children who are desperate for help. Otherwise, you could just use my most loved reason for NOT donating if anyone asked.

NOT ENOUGH MONEY, (insert your preferred answer below)

I am still a student.

I just started working and I am struggling to make ends meet.

(After a few years..)

No money la, you think living in KL easy ah? I am vomiting money every month for my parent, my car, my girlfriend, my cat, my loan, my slimming program, blah blah..

Need to save to buy house.

Need to save for marriage.

Milk powder and mamy poko is expensive.

Need to send kids to college.

(Too many years later…)

Almost retiring already la, I need $$ for my old age.

At the funeral…(no need to say already.)

Helping others makes you a happier person, don't you agree?